So, it's been over a month since the last update, and guess what? No, I'm not feeling better than a month ago. I'm actually arguably worse, though much of it has to do with pulled back muscles. Right now I pretty much have mild to debilitating pains everywhere around my spine from the top of my head to my tailbone. Plus all other sorts of non-muscle related nonsense I won't even get to right now. So over a year after quitting Diazepam I'm still not even close to being OK. I know that that happens, you can get 18 months of withdrawal if you're unlucky (and I generally am) plus some withdrawal effects can linger on for years, but I never imagined it would be this bad. What's worse, I don't know for sure if this even still is Diazepam withdrawal or if I'm just screwed for the rest of my life.
Unfortunately I've also been pretty much creatively barren these few months. I've not been able to draw almost anything at all, and not for the lack of trying. I just can't get anything good on paper. Not having a working drawing tablet of course doesn't help either. Nor the fact that for the first time in my life my PC suddenly has defective RAM. Every now and then I've been able to write down something about my new fantasy world (more about that hopefully later) but nothing even half finished I could share with you.
At least the weather this summer has been pretty awful in Finland, so I haven't missed much on that front. Then again I haven't been able to play video games either, because my neck and shoulder tension punishes me severely if I do anything more straining than occasionally clicking the mouse. Fortunately I've finally managed to start playing Hearthstone now that my brain isn't so addled anymore. I'm really horrible at it to tell you the truth, but I only play it occasionally for fun, time killing and cardbacks, so it doesn't matter much.