I'm done with the tapering and have just crossed the threshold to complete freedom from Diazepam. This is where things get real bad. With the drug completely leaving my body, I'm going to feel the full force of the disabling and debilitating effects of withdrawal, which have been increasingly harder to bear even up to now. I'm not even sure how I'll make it through, knowing how bad it has been so far, not knowing how long it will take until the symptoms become tolerable again. But there is no going back. There can't be. I have to free myself from this poison to ever regain some portion of my health and abilities.
I found a few of files in my Sta.sh that I wanted to post so there'd be something fresh in my gallery for people to look at while I try to fight my way out of benzo purgatory. Since I don't know how many months of life this final stage of withdrawal is going to rob from me, this might be the best way to guarantee that there's something "new" here before christmas. Obviously I intend to be more active again as soon as it's physically and mentally possible, but that could take anything from a month to half a year. (Seriously, Diazepam withdrawal is a long, agonizing, drawn out process. In some cases it takes years for the withdrawal symptoms to fully abate. I don't know if I'm going to be one of the lucky or the unlucky ones so I have to be prepared for anything.)
Hopefully I'll be able to give you updates as I pass milestones such as the peak of withdrawal symptoms (expected at two weeks after quitting completely), but because I don't know in how bad a shape I'll be then, I can't promise anything. This may be one of the last days I'm able to communicate with you for a long time.