Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Traditional Art / Artist Mette AumalaFemale/Finland Groups :iconcall-of-cthulhu: Call-of-Cthulhu
From R'Lyeh with love
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 313 Deviations 1,029 Comments 55,501 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Random Favourites

Activity


For all of you who've been wondering where I've been for the last couple of months (and I can name at least one of you), here's the long overdue update that was supposed to come last month.

Back in late April it began to look like Diazepam was finally starting to loosen it's grip on my muscular system, and pretty soon gardening started to overtake all my available time. I may not have mentioned this before, but I used to be pretty passionate about gardening, especially arboriculture. Not having been able to do much of anything in the garden since spring 2012, I had a huge backlog of things to do, which is why I neglected by online presence despite finally starting to feel better. I also found that my neck and shoulders allowed me to play video games again, so that kept me busy in the evenings when I finally managed to drag myself back indoors.

Then, in mid May when I meant to rectify all that, something happened, and the withdrawal came back with a vengeance. Symptoms I haven't really had to deal with since January returned for unclear reasons. I've had to live in fear of the excruciating temple headaches that ruined my life last fall, and give up both garden work and gaming. Other parts of my body - and mind - were also under assault, and I couldn't gather the energy to write the gallery journal update I had been planning either, especially when I intended to follow it up with scans and lengthy descriptions. Now it's been about three weeks since hell broke loose, and I still don't quite understand what happened and what can be done to fix this. But the thing is, I'm not feeling well enough to produce any art or even post online either. This may unfortunately be the only thing I manage to post in my gallery this month.

I really wanted to let you guys know that I'm finally getting better and tell you about the things I was able to produce even while being functionally disabled by the withdrawal syndrome, but unfortunately that turned out to be premature. I do not know when I'll become a healthy productive human being again. Diazepam withdrawal really is the shittiest thing I've had to endure since 2006 (what happened then is a story for another time). 
  • Mood: Agony
  • Watching: my weight
  • Playing: dead
Drawing of Mohammed by Osmatar
Drawing of Mohammed
Anybody still remember Everybody Draw Mohammed Day? It got started in 2010 as a protest against censoship and demonstration of freedom of expression but quickly devolved into Troll Muslims Day, which is probably why it quickly lost relevance (because let's face it, on the internets it's always Troll Everyone Day).

I recently came across this depiction of Mohammed - or more accurately Muhammad - I did for Everybody Draw Mohammed Day way back when and decided to wait for a couple of days to post it on May 20, which was supposed to be the annual Draw Mohammed Day. I emulated a style that was used by Muslim artists during the 16th century. During that time it became unacceptable in the Islamic world to depict the facial features of the prophet, so the artists came up with a way to circumvent this: by veiling him. I found a certain degree of irony in depicting Muhammad with the veil, and in general felt it was was a style that fit making the point without being unnecessarily offensive.
Loading...
Aren: Oulurse head sketches by Osmatar
Aren: Oulurse head sketches
Way back when I first described the Oulurse, or the Aren version of an owlbear, people asked me what exactly it looks like. And while I had had this vague image in my head all along, I ended up asking the same question myself. You don't really know what something looks like until you've at least attempted to sketch it out and seen how everything fits together - or doesn't.

I never did a proper full body sketch of an oulurse, mainly because it's not that different from a robust therizinosaur, honestly. It's the head that is really unique. 
Loading...
First off, I need to comment on the previous journal entry. Right now my life pretty much hinges on my ability to completely obliviate my current situation by aggressively flooding my brain with all manners of escapism. Occasionally that fails, and I'm reminded of exactly where I am right now. That happened last week. It was rough. I've kind of recuperated now, but I have to be open and honest about it: it's probably going to happen again, perhaps even soon, possibly a lot of times between now and when things hopefully eventually work out and get fixed. (And no, I do not want to talk about it, because if I remember what it is I would talk about, bad things will happen again. I just need to not remember anything about my life right now.)

Anyway, onto the meat and mashed potatoes of this journal entry. Here's something I want to share with you, because it was weird.

Legal opiates can mess with your head

While I was recovering from the surgery, I had to take both NSAIDs and opiate painkillers regularly and in the case of the latter, in unusually high doses. Having pain isn't good for your recovery, and all that. Well, I got the idea one day that I wanted to see Ponyo, or Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea as I think the full English title is. I haven't seen a Miyazaki movie I haven't liked, and I hadn't seen Ponyo yet, so I thought it would be a safe bet. If you haven't seen the movie yet, be warned, because there will be some spoilers.

Anyway, I was about halfway through the movie, past the storm sequence which was either genuinely scary or made scary by the heavy doses of codein and whatever else was in the other capsules. That was basically when things in the movie get really clearly fantastic. And somehow I suddenly became convinced that I was actually looking at a far more grim and dark tale than it seemed on the surface. A story about coming to terms with death.

While the film was clearly a light-hearted fantasy adventure for children on the surface, I thought the underlying story was actually that the young protagonist had imagined the fantastic elements of the first half of the movie, and the second half was some kind of dying dream while he was drowning, because the mother's car had actually been washed out to the sea by the storm. I was genuinely dreading that as he was eventually reunited with her mother and the mysteriously de-crippled old ladies from the old folks' home, there would be something that would solidify this interpretation, revealing that he and his whole family had drowned, and they now rejoined under the sea in the afterlife.

Suffice to say that did not happen. Yeah, it's a Miyazaki film for little children, what the heck was I expecting? It took me a while to realize that maybe taking large doses of potentially psychoactive substances had affected my general perception. It was the first time I've become aware of this happening to me, and I genuinely hope it'll remain the last one, too.

Anyway, that's in the past now. I no longer have to take opiates, or any other painkillers for that matter. But I never would have thought that something meant for a painkiller would do that to the mind. I guess now I know better. One more drug for me to stay the hell away from.
  • Mood: Uneasy
I'm still alive. Don't really want to be, but I am. Make of that what you will.
  • Mood: Miserable
For all of you who've been wondering where I've been for the last couple of months (and I can name at least one of you), here's the long overdue update that was supposed to come last month.

Back in late April it began to look like Diazepam was finally starting to loosen it's grip on my muscular system, and pretty soon gardening started to overtake all my available time. I may not have mentioned this before, but I used to be pretty passionate about gardening, especially arboriculture. Not having been able to do much of anything in the garden since spring 2012, I had a huge backlog of things to do, which is why I neglected by online presence despite finally starting to feel better. I also found that my neck and shoulders allowed me to play video games again, so that kept me busy in the evenings when I finally managed to drag myself back indoors.

Then, in mid May when I meant to rectify all that, something happened, and the withdrawal came back with a vengeance. Symptoms I haven't really had to deal with since January returned for unclear reasons. I've had to live in fear of the excruciating temple headaches that ruined my life last fall, and give up both garden work and gaming. Other parts of my body - and mind - were also under assault, and I couldn't gather the energy to write the gallery journal update I had been planning either, especially when I intended to follow it up with scans and lengthy descriptions. Now it's been about three weeks since hell broke loose, and I still don't quite understand what happened and what can be done to fix this. But the thing is, I'm not feeling well enough to produce any art or even post online either. This may unfortunately be the only thing I manage to post in my gallery this month.

I really wanted to let you guys know that I'm finally getting better and tell you about the things I was able to produce even while being functionally disabled by the withdrawal syndrome, but unfortunately that turned out to be premature. I do not know when I'll become a healthy productive human being again. Diazepam withdrawal really is the shittiest thing I've had to endure since 2006 (what happened then is a story for another time). 
  • Mood: Agony
  • Watching: my weight
  • Playing: dead

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconzimices:
Zimices Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Hobbyist
Happy birthday!! :)
Reply
:iconb4ld3r:
B4LD3R Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yo! Happy birthday! ;) Fun cake 
Reply
:icontektalox:
Tektalox Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday! :)
Reply
:iconhenkyo:
Henkyo Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:icontraheripteryx:
Traheripteryx Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Best wishes for your Birthday, Mette!^^
And loooooooooots of cake! :iconcakechocplz::iconcakepinkplz::iconcakechocplz::iconcakepinkplz::iconcakechocplz::iconcakepinkplz:
Reply
:iconsquidlifecrisis:
squidlifecrisis Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015   Digital Artist
happy birthday!
Reply
:iconwesdaaman:
Wesdaaman Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy birthday Mette
Reply
:iconmartiitram:
Martiitram Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015
Happy birthday! :cake: Hopefully you get tons of cake and pizza and stuff and you feel better!
Reply
:iconsaberrex:
Saberrex Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday.
Reply
:iconrodrigo-vega:
Rodrigo-Vega Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Professional General Artist
Just checking out your gallery, you've got a good range of theme and style going ;)
Keep it up!
Reply
Add a Comment: